tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 22, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT
overshooting the runway. there were reportedly as many as 173 passengers and crew on board, and more than 160 are feared dead. runway overruns also known as runway excursions have become the most frequent category of accidents for commercial aircraft. details are still developing. there will be much more on "good morning america" and you can get the latest on abcnews.com. that is our report for tonight. i'm cynthia mcfadden. for terry moran, martin bashir and all of us at abc news, good night, america. have a good weekend. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight, teri hatcher from "desperate housewives" is with us. we have music, the first ever u.s. television performance by massive attack and the executive producers of "lost," damon lindelof and carlton cuse, are here. tonight, i'm going to convince them that "lost" isn't over yet.
it isn't, is it? get to work! "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. he's actually right behind... what up, mike? hey, dude! [ laughs ] yeah, this is how he dances. uhhh! [ laughs ] it's, uh, haunting. anyway, while i was away, the e-trade machine... thanks, martha. ...worked its technomagic, triggered my stop loss orders, saved me a pantload! [ pilot ] please fasten your seatbelts. dad? no, mike, that's the pilot. he's making an announcement! dad? ugh. [ male announcer ] upgrade to first class investing technology at e-trade. aveeno hair shines in real life. new aveeno nourish plus shine with active naturals wheat smooths damaged cuticles for 75% more shine in one use. real shine, for real life. yours. [ female announcer ] new aveeno nourish plus shine. the other day i was hanging with my roommates and i was thinking 'mowing down zombies is cool and all but... i'd kinda want to know what they're like...
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you. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome to the show, i'm jimmy, thanks for watching. thanks for being here. before we get started, i want to wish a happy birthday to mr. t. an american treasure. mr. t turned 58 years old today, so -- [ cheers and applause ] very smart -- smart guy, mr. t. invested quite a bit in gold, so -- and i also want to say happy birthday to pacman. pacman gobbled his way into our hearts 30 years ago today. according to their horoscope,
geminis born on this day are terrified of colored ghosts and have a great deal of pity for fools, so, that's right on. as you probably know, sunday night is the series finale of "lost" here on abc. in less than 48 hours, "lost" will go back to what happens to the clippers every year. the finale is 2 1/2 hours long. preceded by a two-hour highlight show and followed by our show with the cast. then we're going to take a 20-minute nap and then we're going to start all over again. i think i might be more sad than excited about the finale. i kind of feel like 12 of my closest friends and their dog are going to die on sunday night. i'm upset. a lot of people are. but here is something that might help. a little pep talk from our friends at the hanso foundation.
>> hello. i'm dr. marvin hagger, and this is your final orientation film for station three, the dharma initiative. by now, you have completed viewing nearly all episodes of "lost." you may be experiencing a sense of despair and uncertainty this is to be expected. your as ttask now is to find something to do with your life. take a walk in the sunlight. reconnect with your friends and loved ones. or simply wash yourself. and don't forget to tune in after the "lost" finale for the "jimmy kimmel live" aloha to lost special. on behalf of all of us here at the dharma initiative. thank you. good luck.
>> we've been building a [ bleep ] shark. we can't come up with a decent [ bleep ] camera? >> jimmy: oh, okay, so -- [ applause ] that is a good point. damon lindelof and carlton cuse are here, the executive producers of "lost." this will be their final interview on the seb jekt of "lost" and after the finale, they are planning to disappear for awhile. they are talking about maybe going to hawaii. that would be nice, right? i know we have a lot of fans in the audience tonight who have questions, so -- let's see. who has our first question? let's start with you, and, wow. look at you. what is your name and what question would you like me to ask them? >> my name is ray. my question is, when jacob asked jack when he woke up if he remembers waking up in the bamboo jungle, as jack wakes up and seeps vincent, in the pilot,
we see vincent on sebservinobse. now that jacob is no longer in life form, has he reincarted as vincent or just manifesting himself as man in black is, as jake shepard. >> jimmy: i'm guessing you're single. >> yes. >> jimmy: all right, well, if i can remember any of that question, i will -- do we have a briefer something? you have something? all right. good. is this your son? [ laughter ] you guys go to the same glasses shop. what is your question? >> in the lockabout, at that point, did they know that locke one day would become the smoke
monster? >> jimmy: i never noticed that thing. do we have any other questions? anybody? um -- oh, this couple over here. okay, yes. yes? [ applause ] >> we want to know what's going to happen to us. >> jimmy: yeah, that's -- yeah. well, i can see why you'd want to know. well, i'll ask. that's a very good question. you know -- it's rose and bernard from the show. their actual lives depend on it. in other mind blowing news, for the first time ever, scientists have created artificial life. they, well, here is what they created. they -- they run on botox and red bull. it's a brand new life form, they say, created, they created a
single cell that was synthesized by man-made dna. they named it cynthia. the hope is it could revolutionize health care, become super intelligent, take over the world. all hail cynthia, et cetera. i love cynthia. all cynthia wants is for us to be happy. and all we have to do is obey her every glert. the cell was created here by j. craig venter. he was all over the news about it. >> we made by starting with the genetic code in the computer. it is a powerful technology. but we have an extremely sophisticated team that did this work, and this is not going to be reply kabul in a high school science lab. >> jimmy: i've seen that before somewhere. speaking of artificial
lifeforms, justin bieber was in germany this week where he was viciously attacked by a resolving door. fortunately, his -- his bowl hair cut protected him from injuring his head, and -- president obama's big financial reform passed the senate y yesterday. they say it's the most sweeping overhaul since the new deal. from now on, bankers will be skwooired to dress like this, so they can be identified. they tried to pass an amendment to put a cap on atm fees, which you'd think would be a popular thing to do because sometimes it's 1$1.50, but "the washingto post" reported that some of the older senators didn't want to bother with it because they've never used an atm. s&m, yes, atm, no. in fact, senator ben nelson of nebraska said, and this is a
quote, i have never used an atm, so i don't know what the fees are. he's 69, which isn't that old, but the reason many of the senators don't know how to use an atm is because the senate has its own mobile cash machines, they are called lobbyists, and they -- you don't even need -- isn't that right, kevin? nope? this is kind of adorable. you know how some people get up in the morning, look in the mirror and say positive things to kind of get the day off to a good start in they're called annoying people, but this is -- this is a little girl, she's 4. we found a video of her on youtube doing what appears to be some kind of daily affirmation. >> look, i can be a shark. now, my whole house is great. i can do anything good. i like my school. i like anything. i like my dad. i like my cousins. i like my aunts. i like my mom. i like my sister. i like my dad. i like my hair.
i like my hair cuts. i like my pajamas. i like my stuff. i like my house. i like my whole house! my whole house is great. i can do anything good. yeah, yeah, yeah. i can do anything good. better than i could. >> jimmy: nice. [ applause ] unsettling in a way. it's like a tiny little "oprah magazi magazine" come to life. here's some bad news. some movie theaters are planning to charge $20 a ticket. they are planning to charge 20 bucks for an adult ticket to "shrek forever after." it's like they are trying to give andy rooney a heart attack, you know? industry experts are watching closely to see how movie goers will react, and i think i have a pretty good idea how they're going to react. i think some kids are going to
hear their dad use the f-word for the first time. the movie studios are aware, they know they're pushing it and they seem to be trying to prepare people for it in their commercials. >> every shrek moment has led to this. >> what's happening? >> welcome to the new far far away, shrek. >> 0% apr financing available for qualified ticket byers. no interest for 24 months. msrp includes ticket price and tax, but excludes popcorn. see ticket agent for details. >> jimmy: or you can lease. there are leasing options. and one more thing. another week has passed us by and we have a way to end the week here. tonight we're going to do it differently. it's time for our weekly salute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. "lost," the final season and the complete collection comes out on august 24th.
so this is our special "lost" edition of th"this week in unnecessary censorship." >> where are you going? >> i'm going back to [ bleep ] your daughter. >> okay, so, tonight i see the same [ bleep ] numbers on that hatch thing. >> no, i'm not going to be dancing anymore. >> i'm going to blep blooep you. >> i'll bring you some antiseptic later. >> bring me an at toman. i could use a blow [ bleep ]. >> if i [ bleep ] him, he's not ever going to be the same again. >> you have any idea how badly i want to [ bleep ] you. >> yes. >> you know -- you want me to [ bleep ] your [ bleep ]? >> no, i want you to want to [ bleep ] [ bleep ].
>> we're going to have to [ bleep ] the boy. >> what? what did you say? >> i'm not [ bleep ] in front of you. >> okay. tell you what. you do this. you get my father down here. get him down here right now. and if i'm drunker than he is, you can [ bleep ] me. >> shh. i [ bleep ] your son's dog. >> what? [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's a fine how do you do. hey, we have a good show tonight. the helds behind "lost," damon lindelof and carlton cuse. we have music from massive attack. and we'll be right back with teri hatcher, so stick around. mom: we have a pretty big family. all boys. yeah. i call them our starting five. yeah. boom! so when we go out, like the other night, we have to make sure they get enough to eat. pass these down to your brothers
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to a whole new driving experience. introducing a mercedes-benz convertible that controls the wind and keeps you comfortable in any season. the e-cabriolet, newest member of the amazing e-class family. ♪ see it in "sex and the city 2," in theaters may 27th. ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, welcome to the show. and don't forget to join us sunday night after the finale of "lost" and your local news for "jimmy kimmel live: aloha to lost." the cast will be here. we've never had more ticket requests for any show than this
one. so watch it at home. tonight we have the men with all the answers about the show. the executive producers of "lost," damon lindelof and carlton cuse are with us. this is the hefest album i've ever god. i swear it weighs eight pounds. this is the deluxe edition of their new album heligoland, making their first-ever appearance on american television, massive attack, from the bud light outdoor stage. next week on the show -- jake gyllenhaal, jonah hill, adrien bro brody, chris harrison, the new "dancing with the stars" champion, whoever that may be. muse trick peter frampton, stone temple pilots, damian marley, nas, and the great eddie murphy will join us. i hope you guys are aware of this, but there are security cameras in our, actually in our
bathrooms, and -- this is -- there is nothing weird here. we caught -- we caught teri hatcher just -- well, take a look. >> look. i can be a sert. now, my whole house is great. i can do anything good. i like my school. i like anything. i like my dad. i like my mom. i like my hair, i like my hair cuts. i like my pajamas. i like my stuff. i like my whole house. my whole house is great. i can do anything good. yeah. yeah. yeah. i can do anything good. >> jimmy: that's strange, isn't it? you know our first guest from "desperate housewives." in her spare time, she is hard at work stretching the boundaries of the internet beyond pornography and videos of cats. she has a new guide to life
website called gethatched.com. please welcome teri hatcher. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's great to see you. you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimm you caught me in the bathroom. i can do anything good. >> jimmy: you know, we have to make sure no crimes occur in the bathroom. >> that is the cutest youtube thing, ever. >> jimmy: that is cute. how is -- speaking of -- you have your own website now. >> i do. gethatched.com. a chick's guide to life. it just launched last week. and i'm really excited about it. >> jimmy: is chick, is that a positive term? >> i think i am -- i am owning chick as a positive -- i think chicks are, to me, it describes an empowered woman, a woman who has had a journey in life, who is not afraid, who is willing -- >> jimmy: tough? >> yeah, but also vulnerable and
feminine and kind of encompassing rebirth and reinventing yourself. and the little graphics have eyelashes. they're cute chicks. >> jimmy: chicks are adorable. what is -- this is for women, what is it that you don't want us to see? >> well, actually, i do know men already that are going there because i think it's that same thing as a "sex and the city" or "desperate housewives," men think if they get inside the woman's world, they can get inside. but i think they do read. but in all seriousness, for women, i just feel like i've had a lot of great experiences, and i know a lot of great people that can just offer, you know, advice and information and ideas about everything a woman needs, but in a humorous way. >> jimmy: are you worried that oprah is going to find out about this and somehow destroy you? i think she feels that she is
the spokesperson for women. >> i'm sure oprah is threatened. >> jimmy: you never know. you don't get to the top without crushing others beneath you. >> i am a big believer that, you know, there's a big giant pie and we can all have a section of it and compliment each other. >> jimmy: ahh, oprah wants the whole pie. >> i'm not after oprah's pie. >> jimmy: not -- do not steal -- >> yes, i did say that. >> jimmy: do not steal oprah's pie. that sounds fun. >> it's going really well. and i'm -- >> jimmy: you do interviews on it? >> i do. i have my own talk show called "in the house" we shoot it in my house. for you, you don't have to vacuum before guests come over. >> jimmy: it's really in your house? >> it is. >> jimmy: that seems like a mistake. doesn't it? >> my idea in doing it, and it's been great fun, it is a little bit more effortful than i thought it was going to be, but i have great guests and my idea in doing it is, it is one thing
to do shows with brilliant comedians, the audience, that whole thing, but on a website and what we're doing is, we're trying to find a more intimate space where, you know, quieter conversations and maybe more special information comes out. and that's kind of what we're getting. >> jimmy: so, it's like a conversation that women might have over a cup of coffee. >> or ma tee knees. >> jimmy: and you lull them into relaxing and then you start talking and you put them right up on the internet. who have you had on the show? >> well, next week we're filming marlee matlin and annie duke. do you play poker? >> jimmy: sometimes. >> and fabio vivi a nni. >> jimmy: oh, not the real fab owe. so, how is your daughter? >> she's great. >> jimmy: is she excited you're over the "desperate housewifeho
season? >> yeah. we have three and a half days in a row where we didn't have to go to secure or work. and we were on our way back from volleyball. she's in club volleyball which is -- i don't know if parents have sports kids but that just consumes your whole life. that's all you do. 5:00 a.m., drive to anaheim and play volleyball day. so we're on our way back in traffic on a sunday and she says, can we go to hawaii tomorrow, for three and a half days. >> jimmy: what? >> we never get any time to do anything. we never take vacations. it is really hard. >> jimmy: that's when my father would reach back and hit me. >> so i said, you know, wow, okay, i -- we're going to get home, it's going to be late. i have no idea how this could happen. and i said, you know what? i have an american express hard and i think they have a travel department. i have never used it but i think they do and i can't talk on the phone because i'm driving, that's the rule. so, if you --
>> jimmy: oprah's rule. >> right. i said, if you can get the travel guy on the phone, figure it out, find some place to stay, we'll go. >> jimmy: really? >> she's on -- we're on the 5, and for an hour she's on the phone and pulling it off, hi, this is teri hatcher, i would like to go to maui. and she would say, do you want to sit in first class? what kind of suite do you want? regular suite, just regular. so, finally, you know this is going on and i finally hear, i guess it all goes well because i hear, "awesome!" and i'm thinking, oh, great. american express thinks teri hatcher goes "awesome!" >> jimmy: your daughter is a travel agent and to commit identity theft. you have to put that on the website. you said you were single. not dating anyone at all right now? >> i'm -- i'm not. i mean -- no, i'm not.
but i -- i actually -- okay, i had something happen and i -- okay. i wanted to talk to you about this because this is happening a lot in our society right now, you see all the people having to come forward with their foe taupes that have been taken of them and talk about the sex lives and their marriages. so, i got myself in a situation where there are some photos of me that are floating around out there, and i just feel like -- >> jimmy: oh, good. >> it's not really good. but it's good, because i'm here, i want to get it out there and not have the tab loipds be able to run away with it. it is a relationship that i -- >> jimmy: you are taking charge and kind of putting it out there yourself. >> yeah. the truth is -- i slept with larry king. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah, um -- >> jimmy: when was this? >> it was in the three days that he was actually getting divorced. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> yeah. i mean there was on and off but it was in the on --
>> jimmy: he was -- >> i would never, no. he was -- the divorce was on. >> jimmy: this is unbelievable! this is a bomb shell! does larry know about this? >> well, you know, he's going to know now, so -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> i want you to see them and show them to everybody. >> jimmy: i'll hold them up for you. oh, my goodness. wow, so, okay, you guys are actually in bed together. that is incredible. [ laughter ] what do we have here? this is -- this is -- well, you know what? this actually -- actually -- wow, that's -- looks more like a box turtle to me than larry king. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: that's larry king? no, because he parts his hair to the right. >> jimmy that is larry king. i mean -- he -- he told me that -- i mean, look, he's wearing suspenders. >> jimmy: you're right. you did have an affair with larry king. >> is that not -- if that's not larry king, then i'm an [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: these things happen.
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>> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, massive attack. our next guests have been delighting and tormenting us for the last five years. they are the masterminds behind maybe the greatest show ever. on sunday night at 9:00, it ends for good right here on abc. the show is called "lost." please say hello to damon lindelof and carlton cuse. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming. >> thank you.
>> jimmy: i know you guys have been very busy and i appreciate you making time. does it really have to end? i don't think anybody is going to be mad if you go, you know what we're going to do another season. >> one more year, sure. >> jimmy: what the heck? >> no, this is it. i mean, no one would care if we were not ending the show. >> jimmy: people would -- well, no, people would care, i think, one way or the other. but i think we just -- me personally, i don't know -- i really realize how hollow my life is now. because like, even when it wasn't on the air i was waiting for it to come back and i knew it was there but now it's just not anymore. >> we feel the same way. it's weird for us to actually be done. we kind of keep stretching it out and -- >> we finished the show on monday, put the last shot in and kind of incredible now that on sunday, that's it. it's going to be done. >> jimmy: you join the ranks of the unemployed on sunday. >> yes, we are. >> making signs for the freeway
on-ca on-ramp. >> jimmy: you made it clear, once the show is done you're not talking about it. >> this is it. this is our last interview. >> jimmy: this is it, yeah. will you maybe in a couple of years do, talk about it or will you never talk about it? >> we're definitely, i mean, i don't think it's going to take a couple of years. i think -- >> jimmy: three weeks? >> we're attention whores, so, we say we're going into radio silence -- >> jimmy: i have something so great. i got this from abc. this is the original pitch for the show. this is -- i'm not -- i'm not making this up. now, there's a big, there's a big thing in network television, they worry about people being able to follow because if you can't follow the show you lose viewers. but this is a pitch and here it is in bold -- right here, the big question -- is the show self-contained or serialized? self-contained. seriously. we promise. yes, the mystery surrounding the
island may serve an ongoing and easy to follow mythology, but every episode has a beginning, middle and end. the beginning of the ex-episode presents a new dilemma that requires no knowledge of the episode that preceded it. except for the rare two-parter. this is not lip service. we are absolutely committed to this. "lost" will be accessible as a traditional procedural drama. viewers will be able to follow exactly what's going on in the story context. how can we ever trust with you anything? >> well, i mean, first off, j.j. wrote that. look -- you know, there is -- when you're selling, you have to -- >> jimmy: you have to lie! >> when you're on the first date, you don't know, hey, i have syphilis. you have to -- >> jimmy: you reveal that later
on. >> sorry, honey, by the way. >> jimmy: well, that is -- i love that. i tell you. i read that like 35 times just laughed to myself like a maniac. but i tell you what, though, the fact that the show is hard to follow is what is, one of the things that's great about it, and one of the things that makes the ending so exciting because people, i mean, this is like, you know, this is like a movie that's been going on for 100 hours and now you want to see the last two and a half. you're just dying -- i'm dying to see it but i don't want it to be over. why is the finale 2 1/2 hours? well, basically, we wrote the script and the network said, you know, it might be long, we're like, no, no, we'll edit it. >> and we'll have everybody walk really fast, you know. >> they'll be running when they're trekking. but when we actually started editing the show, we realized we couldn't push scenes off future seasons and it was just too long to fit into a two-hour time slot so we went to abc said, you're
right, the script was too long, but it's all great, but please look at this version of it and see if you can extend the show and they did and they loved it and so they gave us the extra half hour. >> jimmy: that's great. i never heard of that happening before. i ask for that almost every night and they say no. >> those bums. >> jimmy: will i cry? >> yes. >> we hope so. we do. >> well, i think you will. >> jimmy: i think i probably will, too. >> when's the last time you cried? >> jimmy: um -- i killed some dogs. >> well there you go. >> jimmy: no, no. i don't cry easily -- well, it depends. >> there's no dog killing. no, no. vincent lives. vincent is safe. that is our "lost" spoiler. >> jimmy: people care more about docks than humans. >> they do. >> jimmy: that's true. walt. will we get some insight into why he has those powers many years ago or is he just too tall now to -- >> um, yeah.
well, you know, walt, mall con david kelly when we cast him on the show, he was 11 years old playing an 8-year-old and when his voice started to drop, we said, we better get that kid on the raft and get him off the island. >> now he's six feet tall. >> jimmy: that's why i told you, go with midgets. nobody listens to me. >> we can say this. your question may not be resolved in the finale itself but we think we've come up with sort of a clever way to answer it and so the storytelling of "lost" is not entirely entirely done but the finale speaks for itself. >> jimmy: we have a clip from the finale and, is there anything we need to know going into this? >> yeah, well, it's not going to give anything too massive away, but it's a scene that involves some of our favorite people and hopefully wet people's appetite for it. >> jimmy: let's get wet together. >> wow.
>> as long as you're watching, why don't you join us? >> what are you doing here, james? >> heard desmond fell in a well. i came to help him get out. looks like somebody beat us both to the punch. oh, well. >> jimmy: oh, well, indeed. [ applause ] >> you know, jimmy, he's really probably the biggest fan of the show we have. we have a little present for you. >> we do. we actually -- guillermo has it. i don't know how you summon guillermo. >> guillermo? >> jimmy: what is this?
>> here it is. >> jimmy: look at that. that is beautiful! >> basically, we -- the last time we were on the show we noticed that you were sort of in awe of the fact that we have been immortalized in velvet, so -- >> jimmy: that is beautiful, thank you. and thank you so much. and let me just say to you guys, thank you -- you know, for, we've done so many comedy bits and you guys are very funny and -- i'm gifting choked up already. but the show is just great and thank you on behalf of the fans. >> thank you. >> jimmy: damon and carlton. the two and a half hour series finale of "lost" airs sunday night at 9:00 here on abc. we'll be right back with massive attack. with this cuter of jeans, only $100.
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